Laugh, Think, Cry

                                                          

“If you laugh, you think, and you cry, that’s a full day. That’s a heck of a day. You do that seven days a week, you’re going to have something special.” –Jim Valvano

I was having a bad day, when one of my best friends sent me Jim Valvano’s speech. One of the greatest and inspiring speeches of all time. If you haven’t seen it, you MUST watch it. And if you don’t tear up while watching it.. You have no heart, lol

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HuoVM9nm42E

In his speech, he also says “Cancer can take away all of my physical abilities. It cannot touch my mind, it cannot touch my heart, and it cannot touch my soul.” 

I dont believe in god, but I do believe everything happens for a reason. Although, I still haven’t found out what the reason is yet.. Im dealing with it the best I can. Im ready for whatever comes my way. Chemo, radiation, more surgeries.. Im ready. I can’t and wont let this bring me down more than it already has.

It’s crazy how it takes certain situations in life for you to realize how much you really take life for granted. I look at things differently, I view life differently. I forgive quickly, and love more. The little things that used to matter, don’t seem to matter anymore. I used to care what people thought about me. Now, you don’t like me, you’re mad at me? Good, fuck you. I have other things to worry about.

Through this process so far, I’ve realized who my true friends are. People I haven’t even known for a long period of time, have been there for me than friends I’ve had for a long time. Justin, my husband. What a roller coaster it has been. But he has stood by me on my best of days, and my worst days. In 2010 we said our vows “I take you, to have and to hold, from this day forward.. For better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, till death do us part.” Who would have thought that our vows would actually play out like this. If anything, this has brought us closer together.

Friday the 13th was hopefully my last surgery. The cancer I have is hormone sensitive and is growing like tree branches, so its hard to get all out. Since it was my 3rd surgery, there is so much scar tissue that it’s also hard to see it all. None of this was what I was expecting, and its going to be a very long road. But like the inspiring Jim Valvano says “Dont give up- Dont ever  give up.” Which I dont plan on doing, and I plan on fighting till the end and kicking cancers ass!